According to Wikipedia, Psychoanalytic Theory is the “theory of personality organization and the dynamics of personality development relating to the practice of psychoanalysis.” It was developed by Austrian neurologist Sigmund Freud in the late 19th century. While it has served as a foundation for many other psychological theories, it itself is no longer widely used.
Psychoanalytic theory claims that human behavior is determined, largely, by the unconscious and instinctual drives. Freud said that children must journey through a number of psychosexual stages. In each stage there is a specific need that must be met, based on the child’s center of pleasure at that stage. If that need is not met a child becomes “stuck” and develops psychological difficulties. For example, Freud used the story of Oedipus Rex, a Greek myth in which Oedipus kills is father and marries his mother. Freud believed that the “Oedipus Complex” played a central role in the human psyche. Young boys compete with their father for their mother’s affection. Eventually the boy identifies with his father and this tension is resolved as the boy substitutes a different woman for his mother. Freud believed this was central to normal human development.
Christians have largely discounted the theories of Freud due to their deterministic view of humanity, which conflicts with the teachings of the Bible. Freud taught that our behavior is controlled by our “unconscious mind.” The Bible teaches our behavior is controlled by either our sinful nature or by the work of the Holy Spirit within us. Freud taught that the only way to resolve psychological issues and become mentally healthy is to relive the past. The Bible teaches our relationship with Jesus is transformational and it is in him we find forgiveness, healing, and peace.
Christians totally disagree with Freud’s way of explaining human behavior and the underlying causes for that behavior. Except, apparently, when it comes to someone who is gay!
I recently had a chance to hear a presentation by a Christian counselor who works with Christian families who are struggling through LGBTQ issues. The first bullet point of his outline was, “How does someone become gay?” He proceeded to explain how someone who is gay must have had a traumatic event or circumstances that interrupted the “heterosexual resolution” of their Oedipal stage. He said this could be the failure to form proper attachments to one or both parents, or a traumatic sexual experience like abuse. While he never used Freud’s name, if you are at all familiar with Freud’s work his reliance on that work was readily apparent. And it isn’t just this one Christian counselor. I keep running into this way of thinking again and again. Freud’s influence runs deep in some Christian circles.
Let’s be clear about something – there is not a single reliable scientific study that positively links childhood abuse or poor parenting to sexual orientation. In fact, the American Psychiatric Association noted in 2000 that “sexual abuse does not appear to be any more prevalent among children who grow up and identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual than in children who grow up and identify as heterosexual.” There are thousands and thousands of heterosexual people who were sexually abused as kids or who never “bonded” with their fathers or mothers. And there are thousands and thousands of LGBTQ people who were never sexually abused and who had perfectly wonderful parents.
So… as Christians let’s stop perpetuating the myth that trauma causes people to be gay, and that the right therapy can somehow change that. Let’s stop saying stupid things like, “Fathers, hug your boys because if you don’t some other man will.” (Yes, I actually read that on a pastor’s website.) Let’s denounce ALL of Freud’s theories for what they are… humanistic attempts at explaining behavior apart from God.
As Christian parents of LGBTQ kids, let’s stop “looking for answers” about why our kids are LGBTQ. Let go of your secret worry that somehow you or someone else did something to “make” your kid gay. Accept them for the unique child of God that they are and help them negotiate their way through a world that can be hostile and frightening. Help them keep Jesus in the center of their life.
And as LGBTQ Christians, let’s remember that Christian counselors like the guy I mentioned above are not bad people – they are just uninformed. They’ve bought into lies and we need to help them grow in their understanding. And let’s remember that God loves us just as we are, and has a plan and a purpose for our life! “We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him. They are the people he called, because that was his plan.” (Romans 8:28 NCV)